


Bruised

by RadMo



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Baby Gay Alex Danvers, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-31
Updated: 2016-12-31
Packaged: 2018-09-13 14:57:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9128989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RadMo/pseuds/RadMo
Summary: “Alex felt a jolt of something dark shock her brain, her throat. It settled in her chest and stomach, a hollow, deep red ache.”Vicky gets asked out. Alex deals with it.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I sat down to write Sanvers, but out came Alex and Vicky Donahue angst that no one asked for.

She should have anticipated something like this would happen—she must have known somewhere in her mind that it would.

And yet, she suspected nothing when Ethan appeared next to her as she stood at Vicky’s locker one morning before first period, dressed in a shirt Alex had only ever seen him wear during class presentations, his hair looking carefully disheveled.

“Hi Vic,” he said, pulling nervously at a sleeve. “Hey Alex.”

Alex greeted him with a nod and a smile, expecting him to ask her for her calc notes—he had missed class the day before because the cross-country team had a meet out of town.

But he turned to Vicky instead.

“Hey, uh…” he glanced around and tugged at his sleeve again. “Vic, I’ve been thinking about it and…”

As he spoke, Alex felt a cold thrill pass through her, knowing all at once what was about to happen.

She didn’t breathe as he inhaled deeply, saying in a rush, “I really like you. I think you’re funny and damn smart…. So would you maybe want to go out with me sometime? To dinner? Somewhere?”

Alex looked away.

It struck her that she had no idea what Vicky would say—she had no idea if Vicky felt anything for Ethan. They never talked about boys, and up until this moment that had been fine—great, even. With Vicky she never had to invent crushes on boys as she sometimes did when the subject came up with her other friends. Vicky never asked. And neither did she. 

But now, she found herself wishing that she had asked. She was caught off-guard by how much she wanted to know in this moment, how much she wanted to be privy to secret knowledge about all that Vicky liked and didn’t like, all that she wanted and didn’t want.

She was caught off-guard, too, by an unexpected feeling of disdain for Ethan. For the first time, she hated his meticulously tousled hair. She hated the way he tugged at his sleeve in nervous anticipation. She hated the way he looked at Vicky, eyes open, wide, and wanting. She hated the way he felt like he could ask this of Vicky in front of her—as though she weren’t there, as though she didn’t _mean_ anything.

Not that she did, but—

Alex was seized, then, by a crazy desire for Vicky to look at her, for Vicky to look into her eyes instead of his. She didn’t know what Vicky wanted—maybe she did want Ethan—but Alex wanted her to say no. She didn’t know why, but she _needed_ her to say no.

_Please say no._

So when Vicky blushed and gave a nervous laugh—“Sure, why not?”—Alex felt a jolt of something dark shock her brain, her throat. It settled in her chest and stomach, a hollow, deep red ache. She didn’t hear them as they set a time and place—all she could hear was a furious rush of blood in her ears.

But then Ethan was smiling and walking away with a jaunty wave and Vicky was turning toward her, running a hand through her hair, her eyes cloudy with something Alex couldn’t place. Alex forced an expression she hoped looked excited.

“Wow,” she said, nodding vigorously for no reason. Her voice sounded tight, unnatural in her own ears. “That was…”

The words didn’t come.

But Vicky filled in the silence. “Was that… was that okay?” 

Vicky looked serious, lines creasing her forehead as her eyebrows knit together.

“Yeah!” Alex said, her voice still infuriatingly high. “Yeah, of course, Vic. Why—why wouldn’t it be okay?”

Something in her urged her to keep talking, as if it were dangerous to leave it there.

“I just… didn’t know you liked him like that.”

Vicky averted her eyes, and Alex sensed her discomfort. “I didn’t really, either,” she said after a beat. She looked at Alex again. “I…. He’s kinda hot, right? And smart, you know. Smart enough, anyway. It’s not like he could keep up with you.”

Another inexplicable jolt coursed through Alex’s chest—but this one felt like something gold, something shot straight from the sun. She raised her eyebrows and smiled—really smiled.

“Vicky—“

Vicky sighed and returned her smile with a shaky one, looking down. “Anyway, it’s something. More than you can say of most guys here.”

She let out a laugh, but it sounded thin, uncertain. Alex realized that Vicky’s voice was tight too. 

Vicky lifted her blue gaze to meet Alex’s. Her eyes searched Vicky’s for a moment, then another. And Vicky’s searched hers. Maybe just a second too long.

It occurred to Alex that she should answer. It was her turn to look away.

“Yeah. Yeah—he’s—he’s good.” She swallowed. “I mean, I would probably say yes to him to if he asked me.”

Vicky knit her brows together again, and Alex quickly covered the mistake.

“I mean, I don’t like him like that, Vicky. He’s just… I mean, it’s like you said. He’s kinda hot. Definitely smart. Not like most boys—most people here.”

Vicky took another deep breath.

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.” 

They stood unspeaking, looking down.

“We should go. Classes are going to start in a minute,” Alex said, finally, glancing at her watch. “I’ll walk with you until we get to my chem class.”

“Right.”

They walked in silence, Vicky toying with the strap of her backpack, while Alex bit her lip hard, feeling _something_ in her chest ache and ache and ache. 

 _It’s because I didn’t know her as well as I thought. It’s because we’re not as close as I thought. It’s because she’ll spend more time with him than she’ll spend with me. It’s because—_  

They reached Alex’s class.

“All right, I… I gotta go.” Alex said, forcing another smile as Vicky turned toward her.

“Yeah.”

“So… I’ll see you.”

She turned.

“Wait. Alex—“

Alex spun back around to find Vicky standing firm, arms hugging her chest, jaw set, blue eyes dark as Alex had ever seen them.

“What?”

“You… you’re okay?”

_I don’t know—_

“Yeah! Of course I’m okay, Vicky. I’m fine.”

Yet another moment passed. The bell rang.

“Okay… If you’re sure.”

“I am.”

“Okay.” Vicky paused, heaving a sigh. “I’ll see you in calc.”

Alex’s stomach dropped. Ethan would be there too, sitting at the table in front of hers and Vicky’s, stealing glances back at them—no—at Vicky. Something that felt like anger rose in her throat. 

But she swallowed it. It didn’t matter. It _couldn’t_ matter.

“See you.”

So Vicky turned away.

Without thinking, Alex raised a palm to her sternum, closing her hand into a fist as Vicky continued down the hallway without her. She pressed hard, as if it could alleviate the corrosive pain in her chest.

For a moment, she thought recklessly of skipping class for the rest of the day. Of pulling Kara out of her English class and taking off together in her mom’s car, driving it to the empty beach so they could sit in silence in the sand, watching the waves come in. 

She shook her head as she entered the classroom, finding her way to her seat. 

But this was something that she should have known would happen. And she shouldn’t have let it throw her like this. 

And, actually, it was good. Good for Vicky. Ethan was… good.

But Alex couldn’t stop whatever it was in her chest from burning. It radiated a kind of yearning pain, like a bruise. 

She hoped it would fade fast.

**Author's Note:**

> If y’all like to cry about Alex Danvers, let’s be friends. I’m RadMo on tumblr too.


End file.
